The Definitive How-To Guide For Spanking

I love spanking and you do, too. I have received countless emails of people who asked for my help, my support, my tips- many out there would like to integrate spanking in their marriages, but they fear it will be too difficult, or too problematic, especially men (many of my readers are men, and I receive many emails from them). This is why I decided to put together the experiences I have made, so you can easily start with domestic discipline, or at least give it a shot. Trust me, so many women out there love getting spanked, but they would never openly talk about it.

Why write a guide?

Here are two representative quotes on this: (you can find them here (click on the link)):

SpankMeVB (also blogs at ):

I’m youngish (35) and still single. One of my challenges in finding the right man to spend my life with is that I CAN’T be in a longterm, stable relationship with a man who won’t spank me and/or whom I can’t trust and respect enough to let him. Most men really don’t get it. I’ve had so many bad experiences with requesting this and winding up with either being hit just a couple of times but ridiculously hard or in a dangerous spot, or just a wimpy, quick little series of love pats. It seems they also think that one hard swat that “leaves a handprint” is a big deal. They don’t get the psychological or emotional aspect at all.

Jennifer commented as well. She feels unsatisfied because of a lack of punishment. Her comment is another example of why spanking is great for some women.

My fiance doesn’t really get into any of the d/s relationship it sucks. When I wasnwith my baby father he did a lot of punishing and it made me feel loved and protected.

That’s why I wrote The Definitive How-To Guide For Spanking, the how-to book for domestic discipline and Spanking relationships. Rather than telling you some irrelevant stories, the How-To Guide For Spanking teaches you how to approach your wife and tell her what you want, and how to begin a successful Domestic Discipline relationship. You will live life on your own terms, and your lives will improve. Likewise, wife can use the tips on how to convince their husband to spank them. An entire chapter is dedicated to this.

story watch the game and some spankings

[That’s not me, but could be me.]

My blog has been read by hundred thousands of people. Although I started blogging only a year ago, I was already in a Domestic Discipline marriage for a long time before that.

The principles in the How-To Guide For Spanking are the ones my husband and I applied for us. By following them, you will improve your sex life and relationship, have a more satisfied wife, and make your relationship much stronger – I speak from experience here, because I was very unsatisfied, unstable, and not calm when we did not have Domestic Discipline and regular spankings.

Both Domestic Discipline and Spanking are things which are extremely difficult to explain. There is a whole lot of literature on the internet, but some of it is written by weird people, some others only focus on the sex stuff, and others … well let’s not talk about it. I wrote this book as a collection of my own thoughts, and then, after a while, gradually expanded it. It’s only due to the numerous questions I have received (especially per email) why I decided to expand my notes into a whole book.

A did a whole of internet research. Countless hours of searches on the net and wasted time.

Even more so, you will encounter lots of discussions in real life, if you choose to talk about Spanking. Here’s an example for such a discussion:


Don’t be unprepared – use the research I have done.

This guide will save you the time which I wasted while researching Domestic Discipline and Spanking.

No more having unsatisfied evenings. Domestic discipline helps your wife to regain her focus and deep down, most women love it – much more than they would admit. Only the internet makes it possible.

There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, important definitions, the reflection what Domestic submission is (which serves an argumentation help), a detailed descriptions of the wishes of your wife, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and finally the last chapter on the life in such a relationship. Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that can be applied to your life.

For example, a guide of how to find out what exactly your wife wants. How you talk to her will be very important when slowly introducing her in the lifestyle. It’s 150 pages in Word – in my opinion, a lot.

Trust me, you will love it.

Even if you don’t want to go in domestic discipline, I have added valuable points in the end, such as alternatives to Spanking. Domestic discipline and regular Spanking is a great, liberating thing, when done correctly.

You will live that Spanking life.

Find out how to live life on your terms by applying the tips in the How-To Guide for Spanking to your life today.


Here’s a testimonial from

I just learned about the DD lifestyle from your blog in trying to do some research to help my marriage. I knew instantly this was for me, and devoured ever word on your blog, and then the book. Thank you so much for taking the time to lay it all out, and from so many points of view. I think I’ve found my true self, and can’t wait to get started in learning how to be a better wife!

Another comment made by D:

Bought the guideand now I’m trying to plan how I will tell him I need weekly spankings. He is much more vanilla and not very dominant, so it will be a challenge. I so appreciate how much your guide covers and explains.

I put this guide together exactly because of this. I want to help more women and men to achieve satisfaction in their lives – and honestly, almost every email confirms exactly this. So, until today, I can say, that my blog and my guide as the complete overview of Spanking have helped many people – and I will help more.

If you have any thoughts, write me a comment  or send me an email and I’ll get back at you!



80 thoughts on “The Definitive How-To Guide For Spanking

  1. Pingback: I Really Needed To Get Spanked … Part I | Domestic submission

  2. Pingback: I Really Needed To Get Spanked… Part II | Domestic submission

  3. I am praying that my husband will see that I need this in my life! He is very vanilla but our sex life has become so strong and intense lately and I need it to go another step and I’m ready to be totally submissive to him and I need discipline!


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  5. Here is the ideal and silent tool!

    Here is a little information about this birch bundle made from very thin ends of twigs. If you use this tool you’ve got a form of correction which gives an intense pain but it nevertheless leaves no marks that don’t disappear in about one day. You don’t have to use much force here—it isn’t necessary, the pain builds up slowly and you can keep up the good work for half an hour for a lasting impression in your wife’s mind. This isn’t cruel at all compared to using a cane which you can use only a very short time and therefore doesn’t cause the lasting memory effect you want to achieve.
    Have in mind that this birch branch bundle dries very quickly. You can easily soften it by putting it into a big cheramic bowl or anything with hot water. It then becomes as good as new and fresh. I think that these implements that are mentioned here very often are too harsh and nearly cruel! With this natural, silent and free tool one makes the dear wife’s behind get this necessary, intense pain without bruises and scars.
    I strongly recommend a bundle of about ten, very thin branches from a birch tree, for example! A proper length can be about one foot two.It should look like this, perhaps with even thinner ends of the twigs:

    No noise at all, (at least from the tool), and very effective but still harmless.
    You can normally start up with 20 to 30 slaps with open hand and then use this bundle! If you want to be very silent you of course use this method immediately,
    It is a very mild form of spanking at the beginning but after about 150 lashes it makes a sharp, stinging feeling that can not be ignored.Then you pause for a minute or two and then continue. All of this can and should be done several times but of course it is up to yourselves. Do not forget, during a maintenance spanking, to communicate with caresses and hugs. We love our wives, don’t we!


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    • Hi Abram, If you want to bring spanking into your marriage, it would be a good place to start to introduce your leadership and her submission first. Discipline will naturally fit into that when you get into how it is practiced. I was open with my wife about these things before we were married, and discussed both authority structure in the marriage and later discipline. It might not be a matter of her “liking” it, but rather of her seeing why it is valuable and how it makes sense. More women are open to this than you would think. Many desire it.


  19. I’m a guy who is finding that the whole Domestic Discipline Relationship lifestyle is something that I really need and want to have in my life. I am now believing that a Dual Domestic Discipline Relationship is what I really need. What I don’t know is, how to tell a woman, a really good woman when I meet and get to know her all about this. I am Single and looking for that Special Woman who is willing not to explore but to make this a true lifestyle and relationship. I do believe in my Heart and Soul that this DDR Lifestyle should be 75% of what makes a relationship work and the other 25% is naturally the Sexual component to which should be treated as a reward for good behavior. I believe in Dual Submission and Dual Dominance, basically 50/50 in a nutshell. I watched video testimonials about this Lifestyle choice and also read upon as much as I can. The more I find out about how truly loving this relationship lifestyle is and can be, the more I really want to find that very special woman and live it to the fullest. It’s a burning desire that cannot be put out.
    So, how would one break this to someone that they meet and fall in love with?
    What say you?


    • I am the head of my home and discipline my wife. While I don’t believe in switching roles, I can say that the best way to introduce it is to simply talk with her about the nature of the relationship and the need for authority. Along with that discussion will naturally come the need for accountability, correction, and discipline. You might give her good material to read on the subject too, but I think a talk is best, especially in the early stages.

      I had already practiced this before I was married, so I was comfortable and confident talking to my wife about how it works and why it is beneficial. I wouldn’t agree that 75% of a relationship comes down to that, as it mostly comes down to love and good behavior. However, discipline in the home helps in many ways, including building trust, ensuring peace in the marriage, bettering behavior, and enhancing our roles in either leadership or submission. I strongly recommend it, although it is not for everyone. I hope that helps you.


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