Story: because I need it

Marissa spent most of her afternoon fighting with herself, and an unexplainable free floating anxiety. Maybe it was the hormone treatment, maybe it was a cold coming on, maybe it was lack of sleep, or maybe it was just the alignment of the stars. She couldn’t get her mind around it, and she was tired of feeling the way she did.


She knew what she should do. But the idea made her tremble. She should do it though. It would help, and she knew he would see she was trying. They talked about how he would handle it if she ever did it.

“It’ll be the real thing, no holding back,” Carl had promised. At the time, that sounded both right, and reassuring, and she promised she would try and do it next time she found herself like this.let-me-inside-to-do-you-right-part2

“Well? Here it is, next time? Do it bitch! Just call him and tell him you need a spanking.” Twice early in the afternoon, she picked up the phone, determined to follow through. And twice she put the phone back down and fought back tears.

The day before, Carl had to warn her four times, before he gave up, and just took care of business. It worked for a while in that at least she got control of her mouth back. But she couldn’t get control of the loose anxious feeling in her chest, or the cranky vindictive thoughts that rattled through her mind. Why wasn’t she feeling better? She knew it wasn’t because the spanking he gave her yesterday wasn’t hard enough. Her butt was bruised enough she could still feel it where she sat. Only instead of being a reminder to behave, that pain was just another irritant.

“Go back inside now!” he’d gotten out of the truck and pulled open the passenger door when Marissa issued yet another string of curses and complaints about his parents, his shorts, his timing and the angle of the truck in the driveway. They’d been trying for an hour to get it together enough to go out to the ranch and join their sons and his parents for lunch, Marissa couldn’t make herself move, and everything Carl said or did found a raw nerve.

“No! We’ll be late!” she defied him.

“We’re not going. Get inside now!”

Marissa crossed her arms and stubbornly refused to get out of the truck. “Fuck you.” she hissed.

Carl didn’t give her another choice; he yanked her down off the seat. When she had her feet, he gave her a push toward the front door. “Get in there now, or you’ll get spanked right here and now.

Marissa knew he meant it, and did what he said.

“Go get the bath brush,” he followed her through the front door.

The order sent a surge of fear through her, but she did what he told her. Carl didn’t follow her into the bedroom. For a minute or so, she stood by his side of the bed waiting for him.

“Get your butt back out here now!” Carl’s booming command startled her a little. She’d missed the cue that he wanted her back out in the family room. That found a raw nerve too, and ignited her temper.

“You bastard!” she hollered back. “You never said come out there with it!”

“Don’t you dare argue with me now brat! Not unless you want to spend an hour with your bare butt in the corner after I turn it twenty shades of crimson.”

Marissa stomped to her irritated husband, and almost hit him with the long maple spanking monster.

Pull down your shorts and underwear and get over here!” he sat on the foot stool, and smacked his left thigh.

Just as angry as he was, Marissa pushed her clothing off her backside, and literally stomped into position to be spanked.

“You better make it good asshole! I’m no more in the mood for your shit than you are mine!” It was not a sane thing for her to say, nor was it a common thing for her to mouth off when it came down to submitting to a spanking.

Thinking back on it now, Marissa knew it was a pure illustration of just how intense her emotions and the raw irrational energy that came with them were.

Her tactic baited Carl to take it out on her bare backside, and that’s exactly what he did. He spanked her raw, both her bare bottom and her voice. Then he cuddled and lay down to nap with her for several hours of the afternoon.

It gave her back some sanity for a most of the rest of the day, but her mood had not lifted, and she found not energy to focus. A few attempts to read on line just irritated her, so she powered off the computer, and asked Carl to just be quiet with her for the evening.

He had no real idea of how literally she meant “be quiet.” Fortunately for her butt, he hadn’t had much to say and seemed content to just curl up with her on the sofa and watch TV.

“Maybe he should have talked my ear off, so I lost it again,” she growled to the phone. “Then I wouldn’t have to do this.”

Marissa found distractions in her work, but every e-mail announcement, phone call, and in person interruption pulled the rubber band on her sarcasm and barbs sling shot. Finally when a trusted employee looked at her with a wounded expression and asked what it was he had done wrong this morning and then again just now, Marissa knew she had a promise to keep.

Carl answered in two rings.

“Can you talk?” Marissa asked, trembling.

“Yep, just me and the road right now,” he answered with a smile she could see. “What’s up?”

“You know how I was this morning and yesterday?” she couldn’t control the tremble in her hands or her voice.

“No better?” Carl seemed to know instinctively what was on her mind.

“No,” her voice became almost inaudible.

“Want to talk about it?”


“What then Marissa?” For a second Carl seemed confused.

“What we talked about last month Carl,” Marissa’s heart pounded, and she fought hanging up the phone.

“Ohhh!” Carl didn’t make her spell it out.

“Can you?” Marissa whispered.

“I think so. What time are you going off?” his tone of voice became firm and all business.

“Maybe an hour?” she answered.

“Be home by seven or else.” There would be no going back now, and Marissa knew it.

“K. I love you,” she nodded and felt herself relax.

“Love you too. Don’t spend your time getting all worked up now. We’ll just burn off your mood and help you past it, OK?” Carl offered loving but firm reassurance.

“How can he be so normal about this?” she asked herself, amazed by the ease with which he’d accepted what she’d just done. She did it! She asked her husband to spank her.

“Not a play spanking either, a real honest to goodness, pants down, it’s going to hurt, no second chances, because I need it spanking!!!!” She wrapped her fingers into her hair, and pulled and squeezed it.

“I can’t believe you did that!” She found herself saying at several junctures before she made it home.

Inside the house, she changed into shorts and a t-shirt, and tried to occupy her mind. She read e-mail and caught up on the spanking forum she belonged to. She contemplated sharing what she’d done, but she wasn’t sure she’d see it through. Her mood wasn’t cleaned yet either. Stupid things were bugging her still. So she elected to confess to being crabby in a thread where her friend posted about feeling ignored.

“Where are you!” she spoke to Carl’s icon on the desk top.

6:30, no Carl. “Fuck!”

6:45 no Carl. “Goddamn you! You better not make me wait here shivering like a dog shitting razor blades in fear!”

6:50 the phone rang. “Where are you?”

“I have a stop to wind up here, honey, and then I’m booked off till 8:30. Go get in the tub and relax, OK? I’ll be there in 20, 25 minutes,” he tried to placate her.

“Never mind OK Carl?” she suddenly couldn’t control her nerves, and she was just about to cry.

“Oohhh no you don’t. This we’re going to do, and we’re going to do it right, so you know it works.” His voice was firm and resolved again, and filled with so much certainty, that Marissa couldn’t help but trust him. “Take it easy, I’m on my way alright?”

“Yes,” Marissa’s voice cracked with the tears she was fighting back.

Carl chuckled, and signed off reminding her he loved her, and letting her tell him she loved him too.

Marissa knew what she had to do to get control of her nerves. The throbbing between her legs was going to ruin the “ouch” value of what was about to happen. If she let herself stay in the nervously aroused state she was in at that moment, this spanking would loose its meaning and become some strange erotic game. She didn’t want that. She wanted what she needed, and that was a real “wise up and fly right” spanking.

So she went into the bedroom, and turned on the water in the bathtub. It would take 10 plus minutes to fill, so while that water ran, she took Eddie Bauer the belt down off its nail in the closet, laid it on the bed, and stripped out of her clothes.

In the chest she took out a vibrator that Carl ordered. It had white beads inside the shaft, and a forked thing sticking off the front. The beads spun in two directions inside the shaft, and the forked “beaver” thing vibrated at two speeds. They hadn’t tried it yet. Marissa didn’t think he’d mind that she gave it a round on her own.

The tub was less than a third full, so after washing the vibrator, and lathering it with a little soap, Marissa went back to the bed, and lay down to ease her tension. The soap and the natural state her arousal produced made penetration easy. She had to get off completely, so that the spanking would hurt like it was supposed to.

The vibrator certainly made that an easy goal to accomplish. “Man o man!” she told herself as she slipped into the tub. “Carl will have fun with that!”

The bath was a mistake. So was getting off.

The spanking was going to hurt just because she was still bruised and raw from the day before. Arousal might have made it easier to take. But she was in the tub just long enough for her skin to become soft, and for the soothing heat of the water to wake up every nerve ending her bottom had.

“Good girl,” Carl spoke above the jets when he found her soaking in the tub. “Ready?”

Marissa felt the electric pulses of fear that she always felt before she was about to be punished. Most of the anxiety and restlessness was already gone; having eased out of her within a minute or two of his call to tell her he was on his way home.

“Out you come, dry off,” he coaxed, and reached down to help her up and out of the tub.

In the bedroom, he saw the belt on the bed.

“This is what it’s going to be?” he asked her. She was reassured by the question in his expression.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“The real thing honey? Just like we discussed. You know that right?” he reminded her. The firmness in his tone of voice drove the reality home all the way.

Marissa nodded and followed him to his side of the bed. Carl sat down, and helped her down across his lap.

“You’re getting a spanking again today honey. Why?”

“Because I’m almost out of control,” she answered.

“What did you do to deserve it today?” he asked gently stroking and patting her warm, damp bottom.

“Cursed and snapped and crabbed to everyone. I even made Graham ask me what the hell he did wrong,” she confessed.

“Damn Marissa? You know better than that?” Carl smacked her hard with his hand.

Marissa sobbed. “I know! I called you though didn’t I?” The last thing she wanted was to feel like she let him down too on top of everything else that was wrong that she couldn’t even understand or get a handle on.

“OK, I know, you did call, and I’m very proud of you. I know just how hard that was too baby. You ready?”

Marissa let go, and gave over to her tears. She nodded, and Carl did what he promised her he would do. He spanked her; really spanked her! Just like every punishment spanking she’d ever had the spanking went through all the phases inside her.

Intense pain, anger, fight, resistance, panic, acceptance and resolution.

When Carl felt her reach resolution, he laid in twenty more hard licks, and then helped her stand up in front of him.

“Better?” he asked her. His eyes searched hers. The concern and devotion she saw there in his eyes made her sobs deepen

“I’m sorry I’m like this! I’m so sorry!”

“What are you sorry for? Being an angel who knows what she needs? My angel who has so much faith in me she trusts me with her bare butt and her heart? Cut it out now or I might have to spank you,” Carl’s eyes twinkled, and he pulled her tight to him. “Need some love now baby?”

Marissa nodded, and let herself melt completely into him.

“I love you, you know?” she told him forty minutes later as she brushed cat hair off the clean duty shirt he put on to go back to work.

“I love you too,” he turned to kiss her good bye. “You try and get your head back on straight OK? Your butt’s looking mighty beat up.”

Marissa smiled and nodded. “I’m trying to, I promise.”

“Do it brat,” he growled, pecked her cheek again, and headed back out to finish his shift.

“Good thing he can eat in the car,” she thought, watching him toss the bag of sandwiches onto the passenger side of his cruiser. Then she turned and found a comfortable position on the sofa with the keyboard. How was she going to share this new wrinkle in their journey?

Who would have believed a month ago when she brought up these moods, that she’d ever make the leap and come right out and ask for what she knew she needed, and what she knew would work.

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2 thoughts on “Story: because I need it

  1. When my boyfriend spank me for discipline its nothing less than an adult equivalent to childhood spanking. He like the belt or sometimes paddles the dickens out me with flat part of the handle of a bamboo backscratcher. If I get paddled, he put his foot on a stepping stool and puts my 5′ 3″ petite body over her thigh so I’m dangling in half. If its with a belt I am bent over the couch. Either way, when its a discipline spanking my safe word is nullified and there’s no specified number of whacks, it doesn’t stop until he decides, not me. My jeans and panties have to pushed all the way down to my knees for all spankings. When he’s done I’m crying out of control with hiccup type sobbing Last time, he caught me with marijuana and he paddled thoroughly and than made me cut my own switch made push everything down again and lit into me so hard and fast I didn’t have time to catch my breath. They were all rapid fire and it didn’t end quickly either. I did that post spanking hoping up and down frantically rubbing my ass as I stiffened up and pushed my hip forwards. I’ve never done that post spanking hop before. He was so impressive by my reaction that he is going to use a switch more often. He said he like me doing that post spanking hop performance. Is that weird?


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