First of all, for spanking there needs to be consent. If your wife doesn’t like it- don’t do it. However, if your wife demands it… than you need to do it:) Let’s start with some reasons to spank your wife.
So it took me quite some time to figure out, but I really need a man to lead me. Most men in my life before meeting mark would not do this, however. At best, it was a 50-50 split. While everybody around as says that this works… it didn’t for me. With Mark I finally found someone to lead me. It took some time and I know that at times he still felt this was all quite deviant and depraved. However, it gives me the leadership I crave.
Domestic submission and spanking have so many facades to me. Not only is it erotic and turns me on; it makes me happy and stops my mood changes. For me, submitting to my man is therapeutic and it resets me from a long day with our daughter.
It puts me in my place
Recently, I was really bratty and snarky over something. Without a word, Mark took me and spanked me to remind me who was controlling this household.
I really needed that, and I adored him for it. Although it really hurt ( he took a paddle ), in the end I thanked him for doing it. Fianally ! I felt relieved, refocused, grounded and centered again. While he rarely does it like that, it is really helpful to reinstantiate peace at home.
What my husband uses to discipline me
My husband usually decides how severe my misdeeds are and chooses the right method to punish me.
1. with his bare hands
Usually, and if I haven’t been too naughty, he spanks me with his hands. The main advantage is, that he can do anywhere (and he does!) at any time. And with his great hands, I dare to call them pranks, he can do some damage. However he does not give me more than 20 hits… he told me, his hands wore out. Poor hubby 😦 I gave him a blowjob as consolidation, when he told me this.
Mark really likes his belts to discipline me. He whips it at me when I have repeatedly not fulfilled his wishes, maybe once every three months. And he really nows how to make me alert: when I’m testing him, he likes to tap on his belt- I know something is up.. You can read more about the belt he currently uses here.
My husband bought a paddle on Amazon solely to spank me. He uses it very seldomly, maybe once a year. The last time he used it was on Christmas. It really hurts! It covers my butt entirely and makes me feel the punishment at least a day. Naturally, I was extra attentive to his wishes afterwards! You can read more about our paddle here or check the paddle on Amazon.
The cane is reserved only for times when I’ve been a really bad girl. From time to time I like to test Mark and snap at him, or challenge him otherwise. Mark’s reaction about two years ago was fairly new: he went upstairs and came back with a black cane! You wouldn’t believe how I felt in this moment. Needless to say, the caning was intense, and so far we’ve had maybe a half a dozen canings. I remember every single one of them! You can check out the article on canes here or check out our cane on Amazon (it’s a fairly basic one, costs around $20.)
How does a good spanking feel?
First of all, I get only spanked on my ass. It depends if its on my bare buttocks or if it’s exposed. My butt is a part where spanking won’t damage my body and if it’s exposed, I will feel it and understand my lesson.
In terms of positions, we have basically three positions:
Kneeling on the ground or on the bed, over his lap, and at a table. My personal favorite is over his lap – I m his girl <3.
Is Spanking sexual?
As you see, Spanking is for me not only a therapy, a lifestyle, but so much more. Of course, it’s also part of my sex life. I mean, all of us have a long intense intimate conversation that felt deeply sexual to us – and on the other hand, we have had intercourse that didn’t feel terribly sexual.
So my opinion here is that Spanking is whatever you think it is – or, for some, Spanking is sex, for some it’s not, and for others it’s sex and so much more. And that’s what I believe, too.
Can there be too much spanking?
During pregnancy, we drastically cut back on the spanking, since we really didn’t want to take any risks. But there were always occaisions for some light spankings- I had been a bad girl…
Mark sometimes lets me choose how I want to get spanked, so there’s that.
As a conclusion: a therapeutic spanking never hurts!
Update December, 2016:
This post has received a lot of attention. I believe it’s great – yes, there are women out there who like getting spanked, and who feel much better after a sound spanking. However I want to stress again that I advocate for consensual spanking only – I do not condone any violent or non-consensual activities. Neither do I condone spanking children and I don’t advise you to spank in front of your children. You might search on the internet for “quiet spanking”, it’s what we do.
Now what do my readers think?
With over 100 comments, so many people have stopped by and shared their experiences in spanking and their relationships in general, so I wanted to select and highlight some of them.
I’m youngish (35) and still single. One of my challenges in finding the right man to spend my life with is that I CAN’T be in a longterm, stable relationship with a man who won’t spank me and/or whom I can’t trust and respect enough to let him. Most men really don’t get it. I’ve had so many bad experiences with requesting this and winding up with either being hit just a couple of times but ridiculously hard or in a dangerous spot, or just a wimpy, quick little series of love pats. It seems they also think that one hard swat that “leaves a handprint” is a big deal. They don’t get the psychological or emotional aspect at all.
Bratness commented as well. She and her husband parted ways recently, and she feels as if the lack of spanking in their relationship might be related to this (sadly). Her story shows, that women might no even know how great a sound spanking can be.
Yes have read the guide. Many guides. We discussed for a week…then one day my husband said “the past needed to be in the past…a clean slate”. I agreed…and we picked a date to begin. One of the things we did was we made a short list…i think it ended up being 10… of things that really stuck out over our 20 year marriage that needed to be forgiven and forgotten.
Here is a comment from Sarah. She used to get spanked from her father (note that I do not advocate spanking children here! It is, however, a perspective.) Click on the link to read the entire comment – unfortunately, Sarah’s husband is only reluctantly spanking her.
Shortly thereafter, my door opened, the sheet was ripped away, and dad’s belt fell sharply on my bare bottom several times. I cried and he said “you missed your curfew.” I never missed curfew again. As a child, I remember getting in trouble and being called to stand in front of him to accept my spankings. Yet, I never felt abused, but rather I felt loved, protected, and well taken care of.
As you read the comments, you see that long discussions have evolved. I believe it is this added perspective of others which makes reading my article even better – you don’t have to agree with me, but I believe that spanking is a great thing (for some) and that’s why I published this article. I have received even more emails, but as I respect privacy, I wont’t publish them here. However, reading a “Thank you” in a mail or comment is what keeps me motivated – I have helped various people here and that’s great.
And now, if you have any thoughts, write me a comment and I’ll get back at you – or, for private qusetions- check out the contact section for my mail address.