So I previously described how I started in domestic discipline.
(You can find this article here ,click here).
As I said, my husband was really supportive of me (and we had some great sex this evening =) ), but we hadn’t done any actual spanking yet. So just 2 days later, I reallyyyy wanted to have it … (he wasn’t there this day, so I masturbated at first ..). When he came back this evening, I took all my courage together and said:
„I crashed some plates- I think you need to spank me as a punishment.“
That’s how I want him to treat me!
Obviously I had crashed the plates voluntarily before to give him a reason. And then he literally destroyed me in one sentence:
„I’m not going to spank you.“
My world fell literally together. I wanted him to spank me so badly! How could he refuse this to me! We got into a really heated discussion, and he gave me two reasons not to spank me.
1. He said he is not a violent man and he fears hitting me too hard.
2. He said that he thinks that is what I want, so he doesn’t see spanking as punishment.
Then he went on about his ideas about punishment. For example, his idea was that I cannot go shopping for a week and that he’ll take the credit cards, and that he would just leave 100$ to get groceries.
I was literally on fire. First I thought, maybe this isn’t too bad, but then I wanted my spanking so badly- and he didn’t gave it to me! How dare he refuse to do it! And how can he come up with such ridicilous ideas like taking the credit cards! I couldn’t breathe anymore, I needed to get outside. I stormed out of the door and came back an hour later.
And when I came back, he was sitting in his chair and a beer in his hand. He didn’t say a word when I approached him.
„I’m sorry“ I said.
He just stood up and said:
„You have been out of line.“
I started getting all kinds of feelings. Maybe he was going to do it.
And then he did it.
He gently took my hand and led me to the table.
My well deserved punishment!
„Bend over“.
I just complied mutely, my hands on the table. IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! The feelings going through my body were unbelievable. He lifted my skirt and then he began: He hit me with this bare hands. It wasn’t hard at all!
„Harder!“
The next one hit me stronger, but still not enough.
„More!“
It continued for a minute or so, maybe 10 strokes. It felt like a dream, I didn’t think of anything. It happened.
The dream stopped, when he said
„I think that’s it“
I turned around and gazed in his eyes. He was hotter than ever. My husband, the man. I felt soon turned on right now. I barely could think. I only wanted him inside me.
I jumped on him and almost made it to the bedroom. I was out of control… he pulled my hair and slapped me more. Then he told me to
„Suck it“
I enthusiastically started. In the bed, he continued to take me. I started mouthing “no no no”; and he immediately stopped. I told him
„No, don’t stop“…
Saying “no” doesn’t really mean that I actually meant it like that. I didn’t fight him or wanted to get him off me; instead I totally submitted to his actions. I told him
„Don’t believe what I say… just do it“
That night, I had the best orgasms of my life … and it was a series of them. The sheets were soaked after two hours :))
Since this day, Mark has complete freedom in dominating me at his will. Although it still took some time to make things work properly, we successfully introduced domestic discipline in our lives. I had no idea how great things would be in the near future.
If you have any thoughts, write me a comment and I’ll get back at you!
Also, since you already are here 🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…
There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂
… write me you like it !
Click here to read a detailed description, or go to Amazon and click here for more!
Love,
Constance
Domestic submission 
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Hi Constance,
Welcome to blogging. I’m so glad your husband finally gave you the spanking you wanted.
Hugs,
Hermione
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Its pretty hard at the beginning, knowing what you want, making yourself be heard, and making sure your husband actually understands what you want and need.
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Yes, it took some time… I will write more about it!
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I’ve been reading a lot about domestic disapline in a marriage, and have had the discussion with my husband. He is very willing to try this as he is a dominate person, however he has so much lover for me that I fear he wouldn’t be able to follow through with the disapline side of things. I’m already very submissive to him in most ways, but we do have disagreements that end up in an argument and I usually stop so that I don’t upset him as I hate disappointing or upsetting him. I love him very much, but I feel we just need more in our relationship and reading about this lifestyle really got me interested and wondering if this will work for us. We do have two children that live with us, one is his the other is mine. They are 11 and 14, so I also have some questions as to how does this work? I have read a lot and know that the best way to start is to sit down discuss, and then pick a few changes that you want made and go from there, adding things to the list. I want to do so much for my husband I just lack the motivation and I feel this would e very helpful and satisfy my need to make him happy and also bring more structure to our home. What kind of things do you guys suggest when starting?
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Rebecca, sorry for the late reply …Generally, I would not let the children know it, at least in my opinion you should seperate your vanilla life from your D/s lifestyle totally. There will be many people who don’t understand it. To start, obviously you need to get in gradually … and he must want it, too. You have not written how your husband sees sthings, what is his perspective? Sometimes, a clear talk helps to straghten things out…
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Thank you for the reply. I brought this up to my husband very discretely about a month ago just hinting that I would like to try this lifestyle. He was previously in the military so its very easy for me to make very small hints to him with out requesting a response from him to let him ponder over the idea for awhile. After a month passed I sent him a very long email (as I explain better in writing than I do face to face). He has been gone for a few weeks on a trip so I figured this is a good time to tell him how I feel and what I want. He responded letting me know he got my email, and then asked for information. I sent him the 54 page document that you guys have that explains the life style very well. He then proceeded to contact me to let me know that he does feel that this could really work for us. I’m already pretty submissive to him, except I handle the finances and I still work a full 40hrs a week, but the nice thing is I work from home . After reading the 54 page document my husband is on board 100%, his biggest fear is that he doesn’t want to hurt me but he feels the lectures before and snuggling after will comfort him more as well. We have decided to start when he gets back around Oct 7th. We have booked a nice hotel-resort for us to getaway and enjoys time together but also do the 2day bootcamp. This was his idea to do the bootcamp because he feels it will help him get an understanding and for us to really talk through things and for us both to learn the punishments.. I’m really excited to start, because I think it will take alot of stress off my shoulders and make our relationship stronger. Do you have any suggestions about thing go make sure we do during the bootcamp beyond what was in the pamphlet? What was the hardest part for you when you started? Did spanking occur alot in the beginning? How do you determine what warents a spanking versus corner time or bedroom time? What about in public or in a vehicle. I’m the type of person that would need to be disaplined right away I feel for it to be effective. If done later, I think that would be harder on me. Are there things you guys do if in public, like go somewhere private or handle the situation differently. I have lots of questions, sorry. I really found your guys website the best and its been very helpful with explaining and brining my thoughts up to my husband. Thank you again.
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Rebacca, thanks for your long question. I know it’s a difficult topic. It’s good that your husband was in the military – I can compare this, it will usually be helpful. First of all, I think you should try to communicate more in person and less with email , I know you can collect your thoughts better, but you can also just write down your thoughts before a discussion on a sheet so you know what you want to talk about. Us girls at least always interpret sentence by sentence… and there can always be some misunderstanding. It’s great that you already made plans to start! Write me how hotel was, I really hope that you have the success you deserve 🙂 …As for me,we gradually got (and are getting) more into it. I mostly don’t want to determine, I want him to determine. I want to get disciplined, and I slowly am getting there. Have a nice sunday!
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I introduced it by jokingly asked, “Can’t you just give me a spanking when I’m wrong instead of complaining?” He didn’t know if I was serious, so the next time I pulled my panties down and my skirt up and lie across his lap. I gave myself to him and we’ve never been happier!
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Thanks for the compliment!
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Constance,
Thanks for the reply. We communicated alot over the phone the past couple weeks versus just by email. He read over all the stuff I sent him, which was alot and he was the one that suggested the boot-camp, and is appears just as excited as I am. Is it hard to keep this lifestyle a secret from others, he worries other may find out and think horribly of him, but I will always have his back. What obsticals have you found hard with keeping this a secret from others? I think that’s my only true worry right now.
We have already taken a step forward into this lifestyle by me learning to call him about bigger decisions while he is gone. He actually said its really nice still making the decisions when he is gone. What obsticals have you found difficult when your husband is away for a lengthy period of time. How do you work through these?
Thanks again for all the replies and assitance.
Rebecca
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I have and have always had a desperate need for domestic discipline, I was never disciplined as a child and even as a child I fatisized about being disciplined. I have brought this up to my husband on many occasions, I have written my husband letters to try and explain my need for this kind of lifestyle, and I have showed him many websites where other women explain their need for it and directions for the different punishments. For the most part I don’t feel like I am getting through to him,he never actually reads the infirmation. A few months ago he started spanking me but he was very inconsistent with it and after maybe spanking me a few times stopped all together because he said it doesnaftetrk because I misbehaved even after the spanking. He expects me to be perfect after one punishment. I recently showed him instruction for mouth soaping but he just glanced at it and didn’t actually read it. Then this morning I got bratty with him and he said you asked me to do this and grabbed body wash with an oil moisturizer in it and put it directly on my tounge then that was it, didn’t tell me not to spit or how long to keep it in my mouth or anything. And it wasn’t even no toxic soap. Then later today I got a little mouthy and he said he is never going to punish me again because it is just a game and doesn’t really work. I don’t know why but it isn’t that easy for me, just one punishment doesn’t equal perfection for me. Since domestic discipline doesn’t interest my husband at all and just seems like unwanted work or a dumb game to him I feel like I should just give up and forget about it but it is such a deep part of me I don’t feel like I can be happy without it an FB it hurts me so much when he tells me it is just a game because to me it is a lifestyle I desperately need. I am so sorry for making this email so long but I am totally lost and heart broken over the rejection of a cdd lifestyle that I don’t know what to do. I would be so thankful for any advise you have for me. Thank you so much, Megan
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Hi Megan, thanks for telling us your story. This is not an email, but a comment so publicly visible – if you want me to keep this (private) story private, I will delete it. While I personally also mention Domestic Discipline, I’ve found that I do’t totally align with this lifestyle. But there are other websites on this , such as domestic-discipline.net (they contacted me a while ago).
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Hi Megan, If I could comment from the perspective of a husband and disciplinarian, it can take some time for a lot of men to really wrap their heads around giving spankings, and see them as something beyond a game, or beyond being erotic. For me, one thing that helped is that I first recognized my own leadership over my wife, the need to lovingly guide and correct her, and I also recognized her role in submitting to me. In that context of leadership, one which is being practiced regularly, I could see spanking fit into place. Outside of that context it could seem strange.
Spanking then becomes a tool to correct her, soften her attitude, and bring harmony in the home. I have seen many benefits of it, and the benefits help me see I have made the right decision. Outbursts and conflict do not last long in our home. Be patient with him, and give it some time. Also, do what you can to make him see the difference it makes by your own good behavior. It may also be that he gets information overload, and just needs to learn step by step how this kind of discipline works. But it’s always possible it’s just not right for him.
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That’s a very good post about how your husband broke the ice, so to speak. There is something about the first time which is exhilarating, even if there is some fear still inside. It sounds like he broke through those barriers very well. There’s great freedom once you’re there.
I am not that spontaneous, and as the disciplinarian at home, I explained to my wife before we were married how things work. It came up naturally several times in conversation, talking about my role in leading, and hers in following, something which she was totally on board with already. She asked at one point, what would I do if she rebelled, and I told her – I give consequences for that. What are the consequences, she asked. I explained if she disrespects me or disobeys, I would take her over my knee, and spank her butt to teach her a lesson. I believe her next words were – you mean like a child? She had never been spanked growing up, but that was the only picture of it she had, and I think that’s true of a lot of people. I told her – kind of like that, except you should know better than child, and you are my wife.
Even though we had hammered out the basic rules, it was still immense to see the walls go down the first time I had to correct her. I cannot remember the exact reason she got in trouble, but I remember her vividly taking off her clothes below the waste, slowly walking over to the end of the bed, hesitating, and then bending over it, as I had instructed her. I got up, took off my belt, which was the wide, thick, black leather kind, and began giving her slow, steady straps on her behind. I strapped her several times, then explained to her about the behavior I expect from her, and then continued. I slowly walked to the other side, began strapping from the other direction, and continued my lecture, and went back and forth like that. She cried very early on, and promised her good behavior from now on. I had her exclaim who she belongs to, who she obeys, and what her attitude needs to be. I think it was afterward she gave the famous line – I can’t believe I just got my butt whipped. Her bottom was a bright red, though I did not strap with great strength.
I don’t usually have the romp you describe after your first spanking. Sometimes I will have my wife get down on her knees and thank me with her lips. It is an enjoyable way for her to show me what her new attitude will be like, by pleasing the one she has offended. Her softness, and responsiveness after a good spanking, in the following days especially, are amazing. She also becomes more responsive to my verbal corrections and warnings, since she remembers what it is like. It is a tool I am very glad I have in the home.
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Thanks – great comment!
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