I alluded to some issues with thin whippy implements from our younger years, and the role of some online exploration and a freind or two in helping me to get past it. And as a result, we have embraced the cane for play.
What is it I like/don’t like about the cane?
That question is really loaded and the answer is still evolving.
My answer to the question
Ok where to begin. The cane is something that I would have to discuss on at least three levels, and they might even be broken down.
Psychic (psycho-sexual) experience
Emotional and personal experience
Emotional and personal:
The cane represents something very meaningful to me.
When I came online and found the spanking internet, I was on the edge of asking to erase spanking and discipline from our lives. There are a lot of reasons, most of which don’t matter here, except one, and that is that I had for so many years not allowed myself to be honest about my need for it.
I let Mark be the disciplinarian and never admitted to wanting him to be, or needing him to be. I kept him in the role of “the bad guy,” and I even used that in arguments about it.
Well, when we came here, and things began to become more honest for me, I first admitted that I had always felt safe, satisfied and comfortable with our roles. When I truly opened up, we talked about the one thing I was still very afraid of, and that was the switch. And Mark shared that he would like to try the cane.
I couldn’t deny that I was curious, because I read stuff, and as afraid as I was, the real memory of the pain that had once made me so afraid was gone. Only the fear was left. It wasn’t small though. I had a physical reaction that included nausea to the idea of any thin whippy wooden things ever being used on me again.
This one thing, letting Mark try *the* cane represents something very deep for me.
1. I let go of a very real fear and painful memory.
2. I took a very significant leap of faith in my husband, and he didn’t drop me.
3. He took complete and amazingly sensitive control of my fear and the responsibility for learning. I mean the man bought videos and practiced with pillows and talcum powder.
4. Spanking for fun took on a whole new dimension of experimenting and testing limits,,,, it became “adventure”!!!!!
I see it as symbolic of me finally becoming honest about this part of us, my role in it, my need for it, and our evolution together.
The psychic experience:
Now that I know what will be coming, if Mark says “bring me the cane” or I see him soak them. I feel a thrill. It is more intense and pleasurable than anything.
The physical experience:
The sting of flutter strokes is exquisite. They build on themselves and on each other. One starts with a sting that builds from ouch to eiiiiyyyy! several do the same thing, but one on top of the other. The sting/pain literally enters you from a narrow band, from the outside in, and then spreads.
The white hot fire of a full stroke doesn’t just enter you, it “invades” you. The whole experience of one full stroke takes close to a minute to finish, and it leaves a long after *glow.*
Mark has used only flutter strokes in a caning. (rapid light but stingy strokes) It is a very ouchie and spicy experience, I usually reach orgasm quickly, especially if he really “whips” it fast, and builds the intensity of the strokes each time he starts a new cluster.
He has also given me a caning where he used only full strokes. This is an extremely intense experience, but it is long. I did reach orgasm, but I found I had to fight to stay with it. It wasn’t awful, but it was pretty serious.
I like the mix it up, that ends with full strokes. Each time full strokes seem to be getting TOO intense, he backs off & flutters, and then starts over. He can take me to the edge of my tolerance several times in one caning this way.
When he uses the cane for play, I always feel intensely stimulated, I always experience orgasm, and I always float in a state of bliss for all of the next day.
All of the above.
Also, since you already are here 🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…
There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂
… write me you like it !