So my article “How to properly spank your wife” keeps generating a lot of interest.
I regularly receive great and insightful comments, and today I want to publish one of them in its own post. The comment was made by “Experienced husband”, and I reread it various times -I believe his comment has a great perspective, I do not agree with all of it, but there are many great parts.
By the way, I also want to thank all my fabulous readers and commentators – thank you for reading my blog – each month, more and more people read me!
Now, here comes Experienced Husband.
Experienced Husband wrote on why women want to get spanked:
(here’s the link. Emphasis is mine)
Here’s the way the game is played. When a woman wants something, she expects the man to know what it is without her telling him. Women want men to solve their problems. Honestly, that’s the way the game has been played for thousands of years.
The historical background
This little game of the sexes worked so long as boys and girls talked to each other long before they become men and woman. They have to be involved in and know about each other’s lives long before they hooking up to have sex.
Part of the traditional arrangement included preteen boys (little brothers) finding out teenage girls (big sisters) still got spanked by their parents. Boys might hear their sisters beg, plead, or promise to be good before submitted to a spanking. Then, after a good cry over the parent’s knee, the would see even bossy big sisters did what their parents said and were a whole lot easier to live with.
[I do not advise spanking children! Constance]
For the most part these days, boys never seen a girl have to bring her mother the hairbrush or be sent to cut a switch. They never hear, much less seen, a teenage sister literally getting the big girl spanked out of her. They certainly have no idea that mothers react a lot like a little girl when they get their bare bottom spanked with a hairbrush. Nor do they know that, just like little girls, a spanked woman does exactly what her “Daddy” tells her to do afterwards.
Unlike when my wife and I were growing up, boys these days aren’t exposed to scenes on primetime television or in mainstream movies of badly behaved women getting straightened out over a man’s knee. They’re never realized that there were once no great howls of protest from women in the audience viewing these scenes.
Cultural changes – and how they affect spanking
Instead, boys are fed a steady visual diet of men having or wanting to have sex with women. At the same time, in their relationships with women, men on television and in the movies are often portrayed either evil or weak. One recurrent message is only bad men hit women. At the same time, women often tell men what to do. Now, while this form of entertainment may attract women viewer to whom advertisers can sell whatever, it does nothing to tell men how to handle a difficult woman in real life.
As a result, it is not uncommon for a real life woman these days to have to tell her lover that it’s okay to give her bare ass a good hard slap once in a while. It’s good for the woman. It’s good for the man. It’s good for her relationship with the man.
A woman these days may also have to tell a man that there are times when her bottom needs more than one good smack. She needs a whole bunch of smacks, on after the other so she can feel better afterwards and be more pleasant to be round afterwards.
Only a woman can’t just tell a man about these things using girl terms. For example, the word “punishing” is girl-talk. Typically, if a girl says, “Mom punished me,” she doesn’t mean her mom grounded her. It usually translates into something like “My mom beat my butt with a ______.” If one mother says it to another, “You need to punish her,” it’s a polite way of saying, “You need to spank your daughter’s bare bottom with hairbrush or belt until she learns to behave herself!”
How to explain Spanking?
Explaining spanking to a man these days is more complicated that just tell him to smack her bottom a few times. Most of the time, she has to go back to the beginning. Now, while he may know this, her probably doesn’t understand it from a girl’s perspective.
For example, despite what “experts” claim, girls still get spanked after they start wearing bras and having their periods. Not only that, unlike boys, girls don’t get to old for to spank. That means mothers was well as daughters can be spanked.
[Ok, I’m not into wrestling. Great scene, however. Constance]
Men needs to understand that women don’t resent being spanked. In fact, as suggested by the first clip above, women are built physically and psychologically to relish a good “ass whipping” every now and then. Also, as the previous sentences suggests, don’t be afraid to “talk dirty” to your boyfriend about spanking.
More importantly your boyfriend needs to know what his spanking you will do for HIM. One code word women use in describing what spanking does to them is “submissive.” However, inexperienced men often don’t understand what that word means to a woman. Again, this means you have to get specific. For example, you might tell your boyfriend that spanking you is his short-cut to a “blow job.”
Quite likely, based on what you’ve written, you’re a high dominance woman. That often means you become bitchy if you’re not spanked on a regular basis. Because you need rules, you might also be high maintenance. It may also be a sign of immaturity. In other words, you may need to be treated more like a teenage daughter than a wife. If this is the case, admit it.
[Being spanked regularly makes me feel better, I’ll easily admit this! Constance]
Be aware, there are also dangers in having an ex talk to the current boyfriend. One is the ex may reveal other things you really don’t want him to know. Also, in the end, whatever problems you are having with your current boyfriend will ultimately have to be worked out between the two of you. Otherwise, your current relationship will wind up like your previous relationship.
Adding a third person to an already troubled two-person relationship can really complicate things. Among other things, it can create a love triangle that not only turns two former friends into enemies, but also leaves you with neither of them.
FInally, if you want to find out more about spanking implements, please read my article about them.
Do you have your own opinion on spanking? If so, what do you think? Please share your ideas with us in a comment or contact me by mail.
Also, since you already are here 🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…
There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂
… write me you like it !