Why Do Women Want To Get Spanked?

So my article “How to properly spank your wife” keeps generating a lot of interest.

I regularly receive great and insightful comments, and today I want to publish one of them in its own post. The comment was made by “Experienced husband”, and I reread it various times -I believe his comment has a great perspective, I do not agree with all of it, but there are many great parts.

By the way, I also want to thank all my fabulous readers and commentators – thank you for reading my blog – each month, more and more people read me!

Now, here comes Experienced Husband.


Experienced Husband wrote on why women want to get spanked:

(here’s the link. Emphasis is mine)

Here’s the way the game is played. When a woman wants something, she expects the man to know what it is without her telling him. Women want men to solve their problems. Honestly, that’s the way the game has been played for thousands of years.

The historical background

This little game of the sexes worked so long as boys and girls talked to each other long before they become men and woman. They have to be involved in and know about each other’s lives long before they hooking up to have sex.

Part of the traditional arrangement included preteen boys (little brothers) finding out teenage girls (big sisters) still got spanked by their parents. Boys might hear their sisters beg, plead, or promise to be good before submitted to a spanking. Then, after a good cry over the parent’s knee, the would see even bossy big sisters did what their parents said and were a whole lot easier to live with.


[I do not advise spanking children! Constance]

For the most part these days, boys never seen a girl have to bring her mother the hairbrush or be sent to cut a switch. They never hear, much less seen, a teenage sister literally getting the big girl spanked out of her. They certainly have no idea that mothers react a lot like a little girl when they get their bare bottom spanked with a hairbrush. Nor do they know that, just like little girls, a spanked woman does exactly what her “Daddy” tells her to do afterwards.

Unlike when my wife and I were growing up, boys these days aren’t exposed to scenes on primetime television or in mainstream movies of badly behaved women getting straightened out over a man’s knee. They’re never realized that there were once no great howls of protest from women in the audience viewing these scenes.

Cultural changes – and how they affect spanking

Instead, boys are fed a steady visual diet of men having or wanting to have sex with women. At the same time, in their relationships with women, men on television and in the movies are often portrayed either evil or weak. One recurrent message is only bad men hit women. At the same time, women often tell men what to do. Now, while this form of entertainment may attract women viewer to whom advertisers can sell whatever, it does nothing to tell men how to handle a difficult woman in real life.

As a result, it is not uncommon for a real life woman these days to have to tell her lover that it’s okay to give her bare ass a good hard slap once in a while. It’s good for the woman. It’s good for the man. It’s good for her relationship with the man.

story watch the game and some spankings

[Most definitevely!Constance]

A woman these days may also have to tell a man that there are times when her bottom needs more than one good smack. She needs a whole bunch of smacks, on after the other so she can feel better afterwards and be more pleasant to be round afterwards.

Only a woman can’t just tell a man about these things using girl terms. For example, the word “punishing” is girl-talk. Typically, if a girl says, “Mom punished me,” she doesn’t mean her mom grounded her. It usually translates into something like “My mom beat my butt with a ______.” If one mother says it to another, “You need to punish her,” it’s a polite way of saying, “You need to spank your daughter’s bare bottom with hairbrush or belt until she learns to behave herself!”

How to explain Spanking?

Explaining spanking to a man these days is more complicated that just tell him to smack her bottom a few times. Most of the time, she has to go back to the beginning. Now, while he may know this, her probably doesn’t understand it from a girl’s perspective.

For example, despite what “experts” claim, girls still get spanked after they start wearing bras and having their periods. Not only that, unlike boys, girls don’t get to old for to spank. That means mothers was well as daughters can be spanked.

[Ok, I’m not into wrestling. Great scene, however. Constance]

Men needs to understand that women don’t resent being spanked. In fact, as suggested by the first clip above, women are built physically and psychologically to relish a good “ass whipping” every now and then. Also, as the previous sentences suggests, don’t be afraid to “talk dirty” to your boyfriend about spanking.

More importantly your boyfriend needs to know what his spanking you will do for HIM. One code word women use in describing what spanking does to them is “submissive.” However, inexperienced men often don’t understand what that word means to a woman. Again, this means you have to get specific. For example, you might tell your boyfriend that spanking you is his short-cut to a “blow job.”

Women’s needs

Quite likely, based on what you’ve written, you’re a high dominance woman. That often means you become bitchy if you’re not spanked on a regular basis. Because you need rules, you might also be high maintenance. It may also be a sign of immaturity. In other words, you may need to be treated more like a teenage daughter than a wife. If this is the case, admit it.

[Being spanked regularly makes me feel better, I’ll easily admit this! Constance]

Be aware, there are also dangers in having an ex talk to the current boyfriend. One is the ex may reveal other things you really don’t want him to know. Also, in the end, whatever problems you are having with your current boyfriend will ultimately have to be worked out between the two of you. Otherwise, your current relationship will wind up like your previous relationship.

Adding a third person to an already troubled two-person relationship can really complicate things. Among other things, it can create a love triangle that not only turns two former friends into enemies, but also leaves you with neither of them.

FInally, if you want to find out more about spanking implements, please read my article about them.



Do you have your own opinion on spanking? If so, what do you think? Please share your ideas with us in a comment or contact me by mail.

Also, since you already are here  🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…

There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂

 … write me you like it !

Click here to read a detailed description, or go to Amazon and click here for more!



26 thoughts on “Why Do Women Want To Get Spanked?

  1. Experienced Husband is a troll. The things “he” talks about are mostly made up and not real. I would be VERY hesitant to take anything “he” says seriously.


      • Why – read my lengthy post further down. He talks about training young girls to EXPECT being spanked by their partners when they are older. He says he spanks his wife in front of his kids. That sick. That’s not choice — that brainwashing children into thinking that is the norm. He needs help if what he says is true. I find his posts revolting.


    • Experienced husband is not a troll. We have to stop misusing that term.

      I get that you don’t like a lot of what he has to say. And I personally have serious doubts as to whether or not he has lived the life he says he lived. But make no mistake bout it….his info is on point. It is true that, for most of human history, women were disciplined with spankings by husbands, boyfriends, parents, bosses, friends of theirs ect….. Thats true and is easy to verify if you dig a little into history.

      Now again, I have my doubts about his personal experiences that he has shared. He tries to come off as this uber educated, high society type. And those types generally arent the type to spank their wives. But his overall premise and view of history is correct. Even his claim that the original anti spanking movement was designed to stop women, not children from being spanked. That is verifiably true and a little research will uncover that.


  2. I must say I am absolutely disgusted by this. What is wrong with you people?? You live in a world that’s so sexist and wrong, what about equality?? What you say isn’t even true. Most women aren’t the min of submissive you say they are and there is no such thing as the true nature and place of a woman or a man. This article shouldn’t even exist and people like you shouldn’t be allowed to write crap like this and influence other people who might be dumb enough to actually believe this.


    • Men and women are equals but that doesn’t mean they’re the same or have the same needs and behaviors, in general. While there’s a wide spectrum of human behaviors, the top of the bell curve is large and consistent. Men take bigger chances, woman tend to be more cautious, etc. These aspects are driven by our biology, not, as some claim today, society.

      Generally, women like strong men that can provide, alpha males. A strong woman may test a man like this and one way to prove this is to administer a spanking. I know you’re “shocked” by this and yet you’re here, reading about spanking. Perhaps not as shocked as you pretend to be.


  3. My wife and I came up with some rules for her. One of them is to be sure she takes all medicine as prescribed. I tend to not check to see if she took it. That or I will let her off by buying her excuses. She told me the other day not to buy into her excuses and yesterday she was spanked for not taking her medicine even though she tried to make up an excuse. I am trying to be a good husband by spanking her for breaking the rules that she made for herself but find that most days after work I am just to tired to even see if any rules were broken.


    • Jeremy, It takes some diligence to lead her and discipline her. Consistency is very important. It does sound a little like you let her decide on these things though. If you are head of the home, you make the rules. You can accept suggestions from her as far as what she needs, but as the leader you decide what standard to set for her attitudes, words, and behavior. Work to keep her in a submissive spirit, respectful to you, and obedience. Lead her in that. Her commitment needs to be in submission to you first, not just in this or that rule. She is learning submission. You are leading her.


  4. Some of us women just like a good spanking sometimes and hot sex after. I like it to sting a little but no marks and then rough sex. I am completely turned on by the guy taking me like he means business. Norma


  5. My husband knows that I sometimes want to be spanked before we have sex. For me spanking and sex just go together and after getting a hard spanking, I am wanting rough sex so bad. We have been married for 9 years and at first I had to teach him that I wanted the spanking and after, throw me on the bed and give it to me hard and rough !!


  6. I am 18 years old girl still spanked at home. My father spanks me over panties. I do like to be soanked without panties!


  7. In our home, the roles are reversed. My wife does all the spanking & that includes me too. My wife gave me my1st naked spanking over her knee on our wedding night before she put me on our hotel bed on my back & mounted me in a 69 position to our mutual satisfaction. On my 50th b’day my wife had me in my birthday suit when she put me over her knee on our living room couch as her mom unexpectedly walked in on us. As they talked, she too wanted to wish me a happy b’day, & over her knee I went. Now both women have their way with me whenever they think I need it, even though I’m 61 I still get spanked.


  8. Dear Constance,
    If I could hold your ass in my hands for a day I would be the happiest man in the world.

    My name is Jack Brandywine. I am 72 years-old. I met a beautiful 68 year-old woman named Ava on the local internet dating site. Our first date was over dinner at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, FL. We made love the first night we met in my hotel room.. On the third date I told her I was going to give her a spanking. She wanted to know why. I bent her over the side of the bed, pulled her panties down to her knees and gave her eight substantial slaps and rubs on her ass. I told her that she had to say things that I told her to say even if she didn’t believe what she was saying. I spanked her bottom and told her to say “I love you.” And she said” I love you”.Then I spanked her two more times and told her to say “Yes, yes.” I spanked her again and told her to say “damn,damn.” The whole time that I was spanking her she was clutching the far end of the mattress.

    I believe that spanking a woman with your hand is much more intimate than using a paddle. I spanked her fatty cheek.and rubbed it with lotion to sooth the sting. When I was done she asked why? I told her that when she is alone, lying in bed, she will always remember the man who cared enough about her to give her a spanking. I told her that she was going to get another spanking for having naughty thoughts. Like thinking about another man. I told her that sometimes she will get a spanking as a reward for being a good girl and doing what she is told.

    At the end of the night I gave her a custom designed pair of panties with a message. I told her to wear them whenever she chooses. Two days later she lifted her dress and the message was “Spank Me Daddy”. From then on she would go to my bedroom, pull her panties down to her knees, lean over the side of the bed and wait for me to caress her bottom. She told me a secret that she had been hiding She wanted me to pull her hair and pull her head back with one hand while I spanked her with my other hand.

    Well Constance, you need to visit Florida when you feel like getting a proper caress.


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