What the heck is Domestic Discipline any way?
For us it is a consensual lifestyle that is based on traditional values of respect, honesty, accountability and love. One in which there is a partnership agreement that builds upon the relative strengths of each member in maintaining stability and discipline within the home and relationship. As part of that partnership agreement one partner takes the role of head of household. Their role is to be the arbitor when there are disagreements and to apply the consequences if either acts in a way that adds stress to the partnership. In our case my husband is the level headed, cool in a crisis head of our household. For us, the lifestyle is not about dominance and submission, it is about mutual respect, limits, accountability, trust and above all love. We believe that it takes a pragmatic and strong couple to face problems and discord head on and acknowledge when one or the other has missed the mark, and then in an atmosphere of love and respect, apply a consequence that suits their mutual sense of accountability.
You mean there are really sane, intellegent women who let their husbands spank them like a bad girl if they get out of line?
I dunno about the sane part, but yes, I am reasonably intellegent, the product of a happy childhood, beneficiary of an expensive education who is highly functional and autonomous in her professional and private world. But, no I don’t “let” him spank me, I want him to. He also doesn’t approach discipline from the point of view of judging or ‘fixing’ me or my behavior. Spankings are simply consequences and neither of us expects me to be fixed by them. We don’t have rules that I break (except one … talking on the cell phone while driving). They primarily serve as a physical and emotional catharsis after we’ve put the issue (usually my crappy mood and rotten temper) on the table, talked it out and made up. It also makes terrific foreplay for great make up sex if you’re dealing with a kinky gal like me…
Does he get spanked too?
Not in our relationship. In other DD homes yes, both partners are spanked. In ours, I’m the one wired to need and benefit from it. He prefers other consequnces. If he’s the guilty party, he gives me us and family time in lieu of his usual fishing day… or he gets to a honey do project sooner…
Also, since you already are here 🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…
There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂
… write me you like it !