Rape fantasies

Non consensual play or ‘non consensual’ is one of the thorny sides of the spanking world. Generally, there are two types of this play – in my definition the type of non consensual play without the inverted commas is where the sub doesn’t have a safe-word and the type of ‘non consensual’ play with inverted commas is where the scene is something where the play appears to be without consent – such as a rape play – but in reality, the sub has requested and/or consented to this and has the opportunity to stop if it becomes too much.

Why do I like this kind of play? Well, to a certain extent, a lot of it revolves around the idea that the submissive is in some way being made to act against her will – such as a reformatory girl, bound to obey the whims of her masters or an Uncle who wants to have his wicked way with his niece. One of the main reasons that I like it is because as a submissive I am quite bad at articulating my desires and non-con play means that I don’t have to work to get what I want, I just get it, with no hesitation involved from me. At the same time, I wonder if deep down, I still think that the mere fact that I get turned on by being spanked or caned or roughly fucked is in some way ‘a bad thing’ and that if the scene is non-con I can revel in the feeling of being hurt and abused without any of the associated guilt. Even if I secretly know that I like it, I want it and the people I play with are not mad, bad and dangerous to know.*


So I enjoy being tied down, held down, being dragged by my hair, treated roughly, having my face slapped, being thrashed for the dom’s pleasure and many other things. All behaviours that in real life, if perpetuated on me, would see the person being charged with assault.

It’s commonly known that rape features in the top ten lists of women’s sexual fantasies on a regular basis. The rational part of me always wonders why – because it must be horrible to have sex against your will, with someone you don’t like. But the inside part of me, my dirty little secret if you like, really likes that. I like the feeling of losing control, of losing my power to own my own body. And non-consensual play is the same – I love the feeling of being overwhelmed, both physically and mentally by someone who is stronger than me.

It’s a difficult thing to get right, especially for the dom involved and it relies to a certain extent on the submissive being very honest about how she feels and what she wants from the scene. But that’s why I’m looking forward to the reformatory this week so much, because it takes me to a very dark place inside myself that really excites me. Why, I don’t really know. To quote Lady Gaga (who really must be a submissive) at this point:

‘And baby when it’s love, if it’s not rough, it isn’t fun….’

*At least not all the time!

Also, since you already are here  🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…

There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂

 … write me you like it !

Click here to read a detailed description, or go to Amazon and click here for more!



2 thoughts on “Rape fantasies

  1. I relate to this sooo much! I recently told him I want him to come after me & not to stop no matter what I say or do. We’ve never needed a safe word before, and I’m debating whether we still would even need one. I have complete & absolute trust in him.

    You articulate the reasoning behind wanting to be forced very well! You have excellent inward reflection, most people are too scared to look in that mirror. I truly respect that, and think it is of the utmost importance to be open & honest with ourselves & husbands. Even though they see us better than we see ourselves sometimes… or all the time.

    I stumbled on to your site this evening because I was trying to recall what Domestic Submission is all about. We read an article when we 1st were married and laughed akwardly at it. Here we are, almost 10 years later and I find that I’m hungering for something, and I truly feel that this is it! I am very terrible at meeting demands, I take too long getting ready to go anywhere, use my phone too much and I think I bitch & moan a bit too much. I told him maybe this is what I need, I was a spoiled child who was never spanked, I wasn’t taught discipline early in life, I ought to learn it now, even if a bit late at 32. Plus, I didn’t have a dad, so where some people who may find it strange and parental to spank and discipline, I have no association with that at all.

    I recently found out I’ve been in early menopause since 25, I had zero sex drive & massive depression for 3 years. My husband and I became more like platonic best, best friends in that time. We still were together all the time, still laughed, joked, talked and loved each other, just no physical stuff really. Which I cannot believe at all! Weve always had great fun in bed, I dont get it, Im just glad its over! We thought it was a medication we both take killing our libido, but mine turned out to be Premature Ovarian Failure aka earmy menopause.

    A month ago, a friend died of cancer, it snapped me clean out of all of it, & I felt like I had been sleepwalking the whole time, I still can’t believe I was like that for so long. I’m incredibly lucky to have my husband, he is the epitome of understanding & what real men are. It’s been emotional, and I don’t know what to do with it all, I’ve started having panic attacks in the last month. I think taking this path might help me find the relief I need. My life is so much better when I know my place, and he’s the only one that can put me there.

    Thank you so much for sharing your adventures in what marriage should be for all: people who have unending love, trust & understanding for each other in an open & honest way that opens all sorts of doors, especially the black, padded leather doors with the chains on them 😉


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