Personally, I have a really high sex drive. I have been married for four years now. I love to tease my husband and to seduce him, but much more I love being seduced. And yes, sometimes love to be not even seduced, but just being taken. Without a word, just getting taken.
However my partner is less interested and has been so even when we started going out. He was defintevly not a pushy-kind of type (that’s what I initially really liked!). We had been dating for three months before we had sex for the first time. For him it was ok to have sex 1-3 times a week. He wasn’t even horny when returning from a business trip. Although I occasionally try to get things rolling, I found he didn’t like that too much either. I definitively did not want to pressure him, so I needed to avoid creating any feelings like this.
(By the way, I am definitively attractive, I continue a very competitive training regimen 😉 )
I tried coping with this with two strategies.
The first was subduing any thoughts of sex. This works only shortly and often really hurts my mood. For example, when I am close to ovulating I can’t take it. I need someone inside me. I need him. I need sperm. It is a really insupportable craving which needs to be satisfied. While I didn’t want to badger him, I also needed my own demands to be fulfilled. Obviously this whole situation made me a little incomfortable, as I really did not feel feminine when pushing him for sex, or when subduing my thoughts.
Still, the lack of fulfilment drove me sometimes crazzzyyyyy…
Therefore I chose a new method. I talked to some (female) friends of mine and how they coped with similar situations. How could I get him to move? The advice was, mostly, that I should do sexy things but not be putting it on the table.For example, I regularly started out giving him massages, or appreciating his work he did for us. When he came home, I fixed him a drink and had a meal prepared. I did all this without wanting anything from him as reciprocation.
Shortly after I saw that it worked, I started making things more sexual. For example, I found that caressing his crotch is good for him and he just likes it, even though he is not in the mood to have sex. Sometimes, maybe every third or fourth evening, it gets pretty hard and we can continue 🙂 .
And in the other times, I just rub other parts of his body or give him a little massage. By doing so I already achieved to increase our frequency.
At the same time, in the morning, I started in the day by blowing him. The more I did, the more I liked it, too! Even when he’s asleep, he gets hard pretty fast and really likes it to wake up like this. When he comes, I offer him to blast in my face or on my body… when we did this for the first time, it was really great!
So this was the intermediary status in the first year of our marriage. I have left out some details which I will take about at some other time – trust me, it wasn’t _that_ easy to get him there…However,a while after this we got into something much much more spicier- in the last years, our marriage has become absolutely fantastic … more about this in the next posts 🙂
If you have any thoughts, write me a comment and I’ll get back at you!
Also, since you already are here 🙂 I put a very comprehensive How-To together, for all the people out there who want to get in domestic discipline…
There are chapters on the lifestyle and introducing it, living life in the lifestyle, a detailed description of tools, and much more… Each chapter contains valuable tips and habits that you can apply to your life. I wrote this book because there are no such books out there (!), and … we have developed our relationship with Domestic Discipline so far, that I now consider myself as an expert 🙂
… write me you like it !